Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The BIG 6-0!

That's right, I stepped on the scale this morning to discover that I had lost two pounds this week, thus putting me at 60 pounds lost since my heaviest weight. For a moment, I was disappointed that I had only lost two pounds despite sticking to my point allowance and exercising about four times a week. Then, I reassured myself that I always retain water weight during this week AND I indulged in a hibachi meal the night before with friends. That’s when I celebrated my milestone. I was trying to find something clever, like something that weighs 60 pounds, to symbolize my weight loss, but I couldn’t come up with anything worth mentioning. Either way, it’s a lot of weight! It’s like a 25% loss! Alas, I’m still obese. LOL. It’s the story of my life. According to a basic BMI calculator, I still have about 8 pounds to go until I can even be considered “overweight.” Hilarious! I’ll get there in no time… I’m not giving up anytime soon.

So, since I’ve lost all this weight, you’d think I’d be loving my body. Truth is, I still think it’s disgusting. HA! No, really. I feel like everything kind of… deflated. It’s like I’m the heavier me, but smaller. Nothing seems as though it has tightened or disappeared. What is worse is that I’m getting the dreaded hanging skin!!! That’s right; I’ve been fat for so long that my body doesn’t know what to do. Well, think about it: I’ve been fat my whole life—so my body grew this way. It’s not like it had to suddenly stretch out and now just stretch back. Yesterday, I noticed that I’m building some serious muscle in my arms and abs. Unfortunately, it’s covered my a disgusting layer of what I thought was flab but a trainer has said is skin that just may never go away. Heart breaking. I can bust my butt to lose all this wait and still be disgusting. UGH! Conclusion: Once I’ve lost more than 100 pounds, if my skin has not sprung back, I’ll take out yet ANOTHER loan and treat myself to a body lift—excess skin, be gone! Until then, I’m going to continue to work on losing weight and building muscle in hopes that things get better.

A brief note on my 5K training: Yesterday, I started Week 2 of my intervals, which increased the time I jog and walk by 30 seconds each. Going into it, I thought I was going to fail miserably and possibly die, but I didn’t! Yay! AND, I’m not sore today. I think I might push it and run my intervals again today. I’m technically not supposed to run them two days in a row at risk of causing injury. I probably shouldn’t, but I might be a rebel ;)

I’ve lost only five pounds since I tried my dress on last. I know it seems like more, but with my trips and this slow weight loss rut I hit, it’s taking forever. I’m almost positive the dress doesn’t fit. I need to hurry up because I have to get that thing to a tailor soon. My attitude is that I need to give them like two months to work on it, but that puts me at August 10. Is that too late? I don’t know… I don’t know! This is the time when I wish I had a support team here with me. I want to wait until August 10th to go to the tailor, but I don’t think anyone is available at that time to go with me… ugh. I hate this part. PS- I still need to buy décor for the reception and send out second deposits to vendors by the end of the month. Someone hound me about it so that I make sure to do it. :sigh:

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