Saturday, March 6, 2010

Save the drama fo' yo' mama

Recently, you would have thought I had returned to high school (or for me, it felt like middle school). There was lots of gossiping and talking behind people's backs. I had a bridesmaid that doubled as a "spy" for "the other side." It was unnecessary drama all stemming from Dan's family. Here's the background in a nutshell:

  • We get engaged March 2008 and set the wedding date for 10/10/10
  • Dan's cousin gets engaged 5/09 and sets a wedding date for 12/18/10 (sent by STD more than 1.5 yrs in advance)
  • Cousin and I discuss our wedding plans, and I feel criticized for taking so long with my planning. She feels the need to call Dan to make sure we didn't get the same invitations. Why would I buy snowflake invitations? You just want to know what I bought. Cousin de-friends me on FB without warning.
  • Cousin and Dan's family tease about moving wedding up after hearing we're upset by the joke
  • We receive a second STD from Cousin with new wedding date 7/24/10 (Dan's birthday). 
  • Dan and I are hurt by the change for many reasons & decide that due to feelings/scheduling/budgeting we won't be able to attend. Unfortunately, Dan's sister is a bridesmaid for both weddings and tries to be a mediator, which fails miserably after Dan realizes she has told Cousin everything we've said about the situation. I'm asking for loyalty to both weddings, but Dan and I feel like her (an her family's) "alliances" are obvious. lol.
As it stands now, I hope I've made my point clear that I don't want to speak about or even hear anything about the wedding that is suddenly stealing our spotlight. "Oh, I forgot there was more than one bride..." says a cousin at a recent family party. And I mean it, I don't want to hear anything about her or her day, and I don't want her to hear anything about us and our day. I wish others didn't view it as so much to ask, but I bet you even my comments here will raise controversy. I'm so over it. For real. I'm concentrating on our day. And speaking of which...

Dan spoke to his mom about our rehearsal dinner. He finally decided he'd like to have it at Buca di Beppo in Cherry Hill. I left the decisions for the dinner basically up to him and his mom because honestly, I'm making enough decisions for the wedding. Plus, he likes food, so it shouldn't be so hard. We haven't booked the room yet because we can't decide which themed room we'd prefer. I feel the Wedding Room is only appropriate while he favors the Wine Room.

In other wedding news, we've been talking about our honeymoon. As I've mentioned here before, we have a very small wedding budget for a NJ wedding; it's almost impractical. When we first started planning, we made a list of priorities, and a honeymoon was amongst my top three. I want to travel so bad. I want to see the world. Most of all, I want to see Italy. But with me working unpaid jobs for experience and planning this wedding, a honeymoon doesn't see possible. Begrudgingly, I've set my dream to travel on hold for the more practical option of buying a house. I guess we'll see Europe when I have an attorney's salary. While we could pinch penny's in hopes of a cheap Caribbean vacation (like Jamaica), we're not the tropical type. I don't want to feel like a beached whale in a bathing suit, and Dan hates the beach. So, after discussing a lot of ideas, we came up with.... road tripping the country! I know it's not everyone's idea of a romantic honeymoon, but it's very US. We love getting in a car and driving hours to explore places we've never been before. The time in the car is great bonding time and all the points along the way can be fabulous. We road tripped New England the summer before we moved up there, and I can honestly say that those are some of my best memories with Dan. Driving across the country with numerous stops along the way will take awhile so I'm going to estimate two weeks. Unfortunately, law school occupies my entire life until I take the Bar Exam SO we'll likely take our "extended honeymoon" on July 30th (just two days after I take the Bar). Dan and I are making a list now of the places we want to see so we can have a better idea of our route. I'm excited for the trip and experiencing things like camping at the Grand Canyon, wandering through Redwood National Forest, indulging in Napa Valley, etc. We might do Chicago or Vegas, perhaps visit my family out in Louisville, eat at In-N-Out Burger & Jack in the Box, visit Cedar Point or Busch Gardens, stop in Niagara. Who knows! Point is, we've decided what we're doing, when, AND we can vacation and still save for a home. Can't wait!

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