Run, fatty, run!

If you had not noticed, I didn’t update earlier this week regarding this week’s weight loss. You always know what that means; avoidance is bad. As you may have already figured, I did poorly this weigh-in… so bad that I GAINED one pound. I was disgusted with myself because I haven’t gained in many weeks. I was a bit easier on myself after I realized I threw my weigh-in off by not following my typical morning pre-weigh-in routine, which includes, among other things, weighing myself when I first wakeup. This Tuesday, I weighed myself after breakfast. Boo. I know it sounds so minor, but things like that make a difference.

I’m not denying that I made poor food decisions this past weekend either. Dan and I had a very fun weekend shopping at the outlet stores in Maine (eating a two-inch square of fudge for lunch) and seeing the fireworks in Portsmouth after great food and spirits at an authentic British pub (including hard cider, sausage rolls, falafel, and almond tart). Then, July 4th involved kayaking, fireworks from a boat on Lake Winnipesauke, and a meal consisting of pasta salad and various mayo-based salads. That’s not mentioning the AWESOME veggie and grilled chicken pizza Dan got from a place in town during the week that we ate for days. God, thinking about that pizza makes me want more. AND, on top of a week of eating all that, I didn’t hit the gym or going running once. The point is, I gained a pound; I’m disappointed, but at least I know where I went wrong. Moving on!

Despite the scale moving in the opposite direction on Tuesday, I think I’m making good progress this week. I have been finishing each day just below my daily point allowance (being sure not to consume too few points because that can do more harm then good in the long run), and I’ve hit the gym once this week. Okay, writing it out doesn’t make it sound like I am doing that well, but I feel like I am. I have the intention of going to the gym each morning this weekend.

I’m still serious about training for this 5K on August 12. Dan even bought me a watch so I can time myself more easily. I honestly will be so impressed when I can run an entire mile. I know there are people that compete in marathons where they easily run 26.2 miles, but for me, a mile is a long way. Here’s a brief story for you: In high school, we used to have to do the Presidential Fitness Test in P.E. Well, it was like hell for me. Seriously! I couldn’t do pull-ups or even the flexed arm hang. It got to the point after three years of working with me, my gym teacher didn’t even make me attempt these tests. He let me touch the bar and save myself the humiliation. There were tests like the 400 m relay and the 100 yd. dash. I remember there was a girl who was so unfortunate as to trip and fall right on her face during the 100 yd. dash. It’s more than six years later, and I still remember that. Poor, Vanessa. But I digress—the beast of this series of tests was the mile. It was always such a degrading time for me. I would walk the entire thing because if I even attempted to jog (a measly quarter of a lap), I’d be so winded that I’d walk the remainder even slower than I was before. Then, since I walked the entire thing, I always came close to not completing it before the 25 minute class period ended so I’d have to hear the gym teacher’s humiliating attempts at encouragement that evolved into threats if it meant tapping into his/her personal time. So, one year, I managed to beat the system. I had been with a faster group of jog/walkers twice when they crossed the “finish line” where the teachers were timing so my teacher thought I had finished when I was with them again on their final lap, which was really only my third! I was thrilled. Now, after all this time, it will be so rewarding for me to be able to job an entire mile. I’m not going for speed, I’m going for completion. Wish me luck!

Thinking about the horrors of high school reminds me of how I was going through some old photos to make our photo guestbook. I was ashamed by my appearance in all my high school pictures. I was so gross. For real! I'm no head-turner now, but hell, I've come a long way... or at least I hope. I'm so embarrased of those photos that I don't want to include them in the book... it's like I want to forget they happened. I wish everyone could forget about me in high school. Bah! I think I'd rather remember myself when I was cute... and at my thinnest...

That's right-- I was about three years old. Those were the days ;) lol