Wedding Rules

Today, on Weddingbook, a Facebook application/community I belong to, I came across a post on the message boards asking brides to post their wedding rules. The common trend was anti-fake flowers, balloons, drama, and tacky dance music (i.e. chicken dance). I had to put some thought into it, but here are my wedding rules:

Guests

• NO family drama- all guilty parties will be removed. No joke. I don't care if you're a close relative... we're serious.
• NO excessive drunkenness- especially for the bridal party.
• NO haters-- If you're there to judge, go home. If you have snide comments, keep them to yourself. If you think we're cheap, we would appreciate donations for the improvements YOU would like. 
• NO wedding crashers-- It's a small guest list so I WILL notice if we didn't invite you, and you WILL be removed.
• NO children under 16. Sorry. (We have limited space and the menu/environment does not appeal to younger guests).

Music

• NO group dances (electric slide, chicken dance, hokey pokey, etc.) 
• NO ghetto, country, or hippy music unless discussed previously.
• There MUST be a dance party.
• NO mic time for impromptu speeches or serenades. I don't want Dan playing karaoke, drunken speeches, or people proposing at our wedding. People really do that! The nerve... get your own day.

Attire

• NO camouflage or sleeveless men's shirts-- it's bad enough people will likely show up in jeans, but try to leave the inner redneck home for the day.
• Cocktail attire is encouraged-- think classy people. I'm not asking you to go out and buy something.
• NO white... for real. As one bride on the wedding board said, "If you are disrespectful enough to wear white, or a variation thereof, you may end up wearing a nice glass of Cabernet." LOL!

Misc.

• NO tulle, crepe paper, balloons, or other "foofy" decorations.
• If I didn't know it happened, it didn't happen. Don't tell me things that are just going to stress me out. I have a bridal party and family for that.
• The entire day is about US, and I want it to feel very personalized. I want people to look at something and say, "Oh, that's hilarious! ..but that's just like them."
• NO cake smashing. It took too much time and money to look that good; I don't want to mess it up with frosting in my hair, up my nose, on my dress, etc.
• Stay within or as close to budget as possible.
• HAVE A GREAT TIME! Never forget what this day is really about. 

So, what did I leave out? Is there something else you would have added?